The year of adventure and change.
By predicting this a year ago I never would have realized how true it would be. 2016 was a year of adventure and a year of change. Especially the latter.
This year has been an emotional rollercoaster. My life has changed so much, something I never expected at the beginning of the year.
They say change is a good thing and in this case I agree. Though I am emotionally at an end and have spend numerous nights yelling and crying my eyes out, I can say it was all for the best.
Had I not made the decisions I made during the course of 2016, I would be even more miserable.
So what changed?
The year started of rather okay. I decided to become vegetarian for a month (simply to see if I would be able to). I succeeded and stayed a vegetarian for 4 months.
I went into therapy (not ashamed to say this). I went into therapy to fix my relationship. After a few years of not receiving any love (in the form of sex or even a real kiss) from my boyfriend, I decided enough was enough. Aside from not getting any love, I wasn't allowed to eat certain foods in his company because the noise upset or hurt him (crunchy noises, spoons clattering in a cup or bowl).
The therapy was intended for the both of us, in the end it was only me who attended because he didn't believe in therapy and said his work was more important at the moment.
I was on the verge of a breakdown which he didn't (or perhaps even refused to see).
My therapist claimed after only two sessions that it was pointless to keep attending therapy as she believed nothing was wrong with me and in a way I had already made up my mind with what was to be done.
Calling it to an end.
Which I did.
It might sound so easy now, but it took a good time for me to actually make the jump and end my 7 year relationship.
Luckily everyone in my family and friends supported my decision (needless to say about 90% of them actually encouraged it and wondered why I hadn't done so sooner).
Now I had to time the moment. I know how cruel this sounds, but I had no job at the time other than my internship at a school or a house to move to. I was nearing the end of my final year in school, handing in my thesis and hopefully graduating before the summer. Everyone seemed to be within grasp and yet so far away.
During mid May, after I passed my internship assessment I sat down with my boyfriend and ended the relationship.
He cried (for the first time ever) and went outside for a while. When he came back that was it. He said fine. I could stay at the house for as long was needed.
The next day I went to my internship as normal, here I would stay working until the beginning of summer even though I had officially passed it.
Then something incredibly stupid happened.
I fell off the stairs and broke my foot....
I had plans to stay over at my best friends house that night (and upcoming weekend) because I badly wanted to get away from my ex.
I still went to my friends house, where I would stay now because of my broken foot.
and I am still with him now (my best friend, male best friend). It was due to happen at one point but I won't talk about that here.
During my time in my new house I slowly got back on my feet (literally). after a few weeks I was finally able to walk again. Slowly and with crutches, but it felt great to be able to move.
My work (or internship) was less understanding. Needless to say, not at all.
I kept them up to date around every week of how my foot was healing. I kept it short and formal (businesslike if you will).
But that caused them to have doubts. They wondered (and i quote) as to how it was possible that I had just finished passed my internship assessment with flying colours and now I wasn't coming to work anymore. (I must add that the day I fell down the stairs I talked to my boss about how I ended my 7 year relationship the day before).
"It's all so peculiar how you passed the assessment, and now you are in a town 3 hours away with a broken foot".
I was shocked....
Was I being accused of....pretending to have broken my foot?
I assured my boss I never intended for them to feel that way, and apologized for my short and formal replies and phonecalls about my recovery progress. (never before had I dealt with a situation like this so this was all new to me).
Somehow it didn't matter what I said or how I said it, it was clear how they felt and that was the end of it.
With my still broken foot I went on a 3 hour train ride just to show my damn face and talk to the doctor who would give a verdict on my current physical state.
The doctor (thankfully) thought the school was insane (seeing as I wasn't even being paid for working there as it was an internship) and told them I wasn't able to work until August.
I said goodbye to the school (and coworkers who I thought were good friends and people, but this just proves how gossip can change behaviour....) and I went back on the 3 hour train ride.
Now it is December 2016.
Since August I have gotten a job, working as a teacher in a school in a nearby town. I'm settling down with my best friend (now best boyfriend ever) and everything is going upwards at the moment.
Almost done graduating, I need to hand in 1 more paper (which hopefully is good this time as it got declined the first time).
So...
2016
...
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to rid myself of many maaannyy toxic people.
Getting a new job
Almost graduating
Finding someone I love with my whole heart (and lets me eat what I want!)
Now get over here 2017 and become the year of luck, love and security.
